Getting married is fun and can be a dream for many people. They would definitely consider getting married if they find someone they love and have a true connection with, including plans too. However, how long will it take before you feel it is right to get married? Let us learn more below.
How Long Should I Date Before Getting Married?
Getting married is something that people love to do if they find a suitable life partner. However, sometimes it is not as straightforward as you think. Some might date for several years before getting engaged and married, while for others, within a year is enough.
So, the average time for couples to get married in most cases would be two or more years of dating. The most you would see is five years before they can be married. Once someone is engaged, it can take 12 to 18 months for the wedding.
Main Stages of a Relationship
Of course, a relationship only starts because you feel attracted to your partner. There is a feeling of carefree, perfect nature and excitement too during this stage. Some even call it the honeymoon phase, which is all about fun.
We cannot say there is a perfect duration for the stage, but it can generally last from 6 months to 24 months. During this stage, couples tend to spend a lot of their time together.
Couples would not stop thinking about each other and might go on a lot of dates. As much as this sounds amazing, it wears off with time. As much as you might still go on more dates, you might find that it is not as frequent as you used to.
Once the honeymoon phase comes to an end, that is when things get real. The euphoria can evaporate, and now you start learning more about your partner. During this stage, you will notice the flaws you probably ignored for a long time.
It is not different for other people to have habits or values that might not sit well with you. These differences are more prominent during this stage. Sometimes you might feel annoyed by them. Most partners would not try to impress as they did during the honeymoon phase.
You may notice that you are also having many more arguments than before. You might even think your partner has changed, but no, they are just comfortable around you, and now they are themselves.
This could also be the stage you talk about future plans, priorities, dreams, and more. This is normally the stage that can also make or break a couple.
Deciding to Commit
The first stage of a relationship might make you blind to your partner’s flaws. However, when reality kicks in, you then have to decide whether you want to commit or not.
Reality can show you if you have the same life goals, core values, and plans. If you cannot agree on simple goals, it becomes hard to move beyond this stage. Couples can quickly build a solid foundation during this stage and plan for a better future.
This could also be the stage where most couples decide to commit to each other and remain that way. You would not be blinded by intense emotions but by your partner’s weaknesses and strengths that you now see clearly.
Becoming more intimate
This is the stage where couples are now on a deeper emotional level. It is now time to let their guard down and let the emotional side thrive again. You would see such couples spending more time with other without the need to impress their partners so much.
It could be the time you see your partner for the first time being comfortable without wearing makeup. Or simply walking around in their sweatpants.
It is also when you start talking about issues such as having kids, how best to handle finances, lifestyle choices, and much more.
This is the final part of dating and finally getting married. You could find that more people at this point understand their partners better and feel like they are their life partners too.
It is time to move in and get married when you get here. It can take 2 to 5 years from attraction to engagement.
How Long Is Too Long for a Proposal?
The truth is, sometimes it is hard to quantify just how long is too long for you not to get proposed to. This is because different couples have different goals, and sometimes it could just be not the right time. Some might date for even six years before getting married, while for others, six months is enough.
So, how would you know when to move forward or reconsider your relationship?
- You value each other to a point you feel like your goals, family roles, aspirations, careers, and so many other things are aligned.
- You might want to reconsider if you are rarely introduced as the girlfriend. Maybe your partner does not feel it is important enough to mention it to other people about you.
- Most people who are almost engaged would have discussed their past and resolved any issues. It could be fun or traumatizing, but you have already shared it.
- When you have unfinished business with your partner, it might not be time to get engaged. It could be something that can stress you or lead to an ugly divorce in the future. Stop it before it happens.
- If you find that you are always heard, and something is done, it can be a good relationship for you. Communication is vital for ensuring you listen and understand each other.
- Sometimes you might feel there are a couple of things you need to do before getting married. There is nothing wrong with that; everyone has dreams they want to handle first. You can always wait.
Risks of Waiting Too Long Before Proposing
Sometimes you might end up waiting for too long. Are there risks to doing this?
Recent surveys show that women are likely to dump their partners if they seem to take too long to propose. Some have been in relationships for five years, and it seems their partners are not making any moves. When it gets to this point, some would feel it is time to consider another trajectory of their relationship.
Can Cause Stress
Having a partner who is not ready to take the relationship to the next level can be stressful sometimes. The worst is when you have one who constantly drops hints but never works on them. This kind of pressure generally leads to more stress that you do not want in your life.
You could sometimes be resentful because your partner is taking too long. It might feel as if you have done something wrong. Resentment is not something that can go away fast. So, if there is no proposal, this feeling can easily lead to breaking up with a long-time partner.
Might Say No
Sometimes you have waited for too long to the point that when your partner proposes, you say no. This could be that maybe you have been giving ultimatums or constantly nagging the person that a proposal is the only option. You would feel that you pushed your partner to propose, which is unhealthy for your relationship.
You Find Someone Else
If you find someone else who is giving you what might be missing in your long-time relationship, it could be the time to move on simply. It could also be this other person has taken you back to the honeymoon stage, and your current partner seems not to be interested in taking things further. That is how you might consider the other person.
When to Know it is Too Soon to Get Married
Just as you can take too long to get married, it can also be too soon to get engaged and married. How would you know this is the case?
Being on Different Pages
As much as you feel you are smitten with your partner, you should be careful to understand how the other person feels. Make sure your partner is also crazy about you so you can proceed to the next stage. At least now, you can make a long-term commitment knowing that is what you both want.
You Do Not Spend Much Time Together
A new relationship can be beautiful and exciting. It is expected that the same can continue until you get married. However, it seems like only a few weeks after getting into the relationship, you do not necessarily want to spend more time together, or you are just bored with each other’s company.
You Have Not Had Your First Fight
It is not like we are encouraging couples to fight, but you know what we mean. It is an argument that is likely to make or break your relationship. Couples must understand that it will not always be rosy. Sometimes you might end up in disagreements, and if you cannot resolve them, then the relationship cannot last, which is the same for marriage.
There is No Connection
It could be that your partner is lovely, but there is just no connection there. It could mean that it is too soon to propose. It is worth noting that a good relationship often takes time to form and build. If you feel a bond is missing, it is not worth having an engagement. It could be worth working on such a relationship first to create a better connection.
No Trust Between Partners
This is something that you want to spend your life with, and it seems there is no trust between the two of you. That is a huge red flag telling you to reconsider or give yourself more time to learn about your partner first.
7 Questions Should Talk Together Before Engagement
Getting married is a long-life commitment. It often needs more time to think things through before deciding if it is something you would want to. We recommend the following questions to remember or ask your partner before engagement.
Why do you want to get married?
What is one thing that makes you want to get married to your partner? This is a very important question to consider. It helps you see the importance of getting married to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Can you handle change after marrying your partner?
Getting married would mean you now change how you live your life. There are things you would not do alone. So, are you ready for the change?
How well do you communicate?
Of course, communication is quite important. If it seems you cannot resolve your disagreements, it might be time to focus on building your relationship before getting married.
How much time do you spend together? Do you enjoy it?
Married couples tend to spend a lot of time together, so it might not work for you if you want to be away from your partner from time to time. You might have to pull back a bit.
Does your parent’s marriage inspire you to do the same?
Some people are inspired by their parent’s marriage. However, you need to know that you are doing it for yourself first. If it is also something you want, then go for it.
Do you want to have kids?
The answer can change from time to time. This is vital that you have a good understanding with your partner first. It could be that your partner might not want kids right away but is willing to change the answer in the future.
What are your long-term plans?
It could be family, career, finance, and more planning. You need a marriage partner who has goals in life and also that align with what you want too.
You can always have a lot more plans depending on your partner and what you expect in your marriage.
The best thing about getting married is that you get to spend your life with someone you love. However, there are a few things to consider before getting married. If you can take the time to see that you are on the same path as your partner, it becomes easier to make the right decision. Also, do not take too long to decide.